oneliner quick quotes

A Boss: Someone who's early when you're late and late when you're early. (Unknown)

It's the kind or organisation where the lunatic fringe extends right to the centre. (unknown - for disorganized organizations everywhere)

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself.

Chinese proverb No1: Man who run in front of car get tired; man who run behind car get exhausted.

Chinese proverb No2: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.

Bacon and Eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

HECK is where people go who don't believe in GOSH.

A picture is worth 1,000 words, but it uses up 1,000 times the memory.

Remember that half the people you know are below average.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Strange that psychics have to ask you for your name.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.