funny love quotes

"It's so long since I had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom." (Joan Rivers)

"Sexual intercourse is a grossly overrated pastime; the postion is undignified, the pleasure momentary and the consequences damnable." ( Lord Chesterfield)

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." (Sasha Guitry)

"Splendid couple - slept with both of them." (Maurice Bowra)

"My wife is a sex object every time I ask for sex, she objects." (Les Dawson)

"She was stark naked expect for a PVC raincoat, dress, net stockings, undergarments, shoes, rain hat and gloves." (Keith Waterhouse)

"Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night." (Woody Allen)

"It's impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it." (Winston Churchill)

"I'll come to your room at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me." (Tallulah Bankhead)

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty years - if my wife finds out she'll kill me." (Henry 'Henny' Youngman)